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Folklorists have reported hearing the locked-out nude as far back as 1960. Very few things are more embarrassing to us than being caught in the buff; and though we laugh at stories like this one, our titters are of the nervous variety for we're all too aware we could easily be the (naked) butt of the hilarity. In classic recountings of the locked-out man, he's at least left with something to clutch in front of him, thus sparing him the ultimate humiliation of having to let it all hang out. Therefore, the newspaper he goes to fetch is key to the story -- it gives him something to partially hide behind. Other versions have him attempting to thrust letters into a post box just outside the door or garbage into a chute just across an apartment hallway. Once again, once the door snaps shut behind him, he's left with at least a little something to cover himself with. Some versions conclude in a wonderful fashion -- they have the nude man attempt to climb a tree to regain access to his home via an open window. But of course he's spotted by the neighbors, who promptly call the police to report a naked weirdo on the loose. Numerous folks have reported incidents of being stranded nude or nearly nude in public places. The entry for December 16, 1960 in John Kenneth Galbraith's 1969 Ambassador's Journal describes a time when a stripped-off Galbraith erred by attempting to return an item forgotten by a visitor now waiting at the hotel elevator. The room door snicked shut behind him, leaving him inelegantly and utterly naked in the hall of a sizable hotel. He had the presence of mind to borrow the visitor's coat before going in search of a pass key. Galbraith and Asbury are far from the only naked guests to have graced the hallways of various hotels -- according to a 1994 study done by Novotel New York, a Manhatten hotel, that year 74 guests found themselves locked out of their rooms stark naked, practically one-third of the year's 252 lockouts. As for why so many nekkid travelers manage to put themselves into this embarrassing predicament, It's first thing in the morning and guests are not fully awake, says Brian Reynolds, sales manager of the Swallow Hotel in Northampton, England. They bend down to pick up their breakfast tray from outside - and bang. Sometimes guests become confused. They are usually worse for wear, recalls Wendy Procter, resident manager at the Royal Moat House International in Nottingham. They are looking for the loo and end up in the corridor. It sobers them up very quickly. Guests will (and have!) use anything to cover their modesty: net curtains, tablecloths or even plant pots. Some hotels keep dressing gowns at reception or in the service cupboard on each floor for such eventualities. The Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza Midland Hotel in Manchester will provide spare keys to any guests who suffer from sleep walking, to tie to their ankles. Naked locked-out guests should attempt to locate an in-house phone to acquaint reception with the situation. (Such phones are most likely found near the elevator. Housekeeping's supply room on each floor also likely houses one.) If a phone can't be found, the undressed guest should remain in the corridor, where staff will come to the rescue. Never go to the reception desk. One naked guest at the Nottingham Moat House did just that in the early hours, thinking the lobby would be empty. When the elevator doors opened, he was greeted by 500 people leaving a function. Though nudes are remarkably common in hotel settings (where doors are engineered to snap shut), they are far less likely in other venues, particularly private homes. Whereas a hotel has every reason to assume thoughtless guests will, if left to their own devices, leave the doors to their rooms hanging open, home owners have far more reason to trust their domicile's inhabitants. Locking doors are therefore not engineered to snap shut behind the departed. It's still possible to get locked out of a private home, but usually this requires the help of another in the form of a playful spouse, rowdy friends, or just a toddler who pulls shut a door for whatever reason toddlers do most things. On the homefront, another tale stars a naked man, but this time the audience comes to see him: Sightings: The 1928 Russian novel Twelve Chairs made use of the locked-out nude legend. That story was turned into the 1970 Mel Brooks film of the same name. A 1987 Garfield comic strip also depicts the fate of a naked owner locked out by his vengeful cat. The 1987 film Roxanne features Daryl Hannah as a locked-out nude who turns to Steve Martin for help.
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