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In March 2003 an updating of the venerable Do You Know Who I Am? legend began appearing in inboxes everywhere: Would Jane Fonda attempt to play the Do you know who I am? card if she weren't being seated quickly enough to suit her tastes? Though it's tempting for many people to believe anything of the woman dubbed Hanoi Jane, there's not much to support the story other than the tellers' desire to believe it of her. (Ted Turner, from whom Fonda was divorced in 2001 after ten years of marriage, does own a number of ranches, including one in Montana.) Arguing against the story's premise is what Fonda herself said in 1994: Specifically, the folks at Sir Scott's Oasis Steakhouse in Manhattan, Montana, where most versions of this e-mail claim the incident occurred, told us that although Jane Fonda had indeed been in their restaurant, she simply said she had to leave when she was told how long the wait was — Ms. Fonda engaged in no indignant Do you know who I am? histrionics, nor did she summon the owner to deliver a defiant You're never eating in my restaurant! put-down. Self-important celebrity tales are nothing new; they're a common way of capturing by way of a fable how society feels about particular media darlings who have earned condemnation by their insufferable acts. Another example of the genre is the legend which attached to cooking queen Martha Stewart, who supposedly also tried her hand at the Do you know who I am? game with deservedly disastrous results. But no matter how the tale is framed or whom it features, its underlying purpose is to convey by way of story-telling a society's opinion about someone it doesn't like. In October 2004, as that year's presidential race heated up, this story resurfaced as a John and Teresa Kerry anecdote:
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