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Origins: Not all jilted lovers take matters gracefully. In October 1997, an Australian woman discarded in favor of another found a unique way to raise a stink about the turn events in her life had taken. Masqueraded as a gardener and disguised with a false beard and moustache, she tipped a bucket of wet cow dung over the bride moments before the pastoral outdoor ceremony was to commence. Jacqueline Martin had dated the groom for four years prior to his dumping her two months earlier for the woman he was about to marry. She had intended to throw the manure over him. But when Martin discovered her ex-boyfriend surrounded by friends and thus inaccessible, she changed her plans and decided that the bride would make a better target after all. Martin upended the bucket over her rival, covering her white dress (said to have cost $2,700 Australian or about £1,150) and soaking her hair and face. The best man had his jacket ruined, and several guests were splattered. The avenging discardee was chased down and tackled by other wedding guests, who held her until police arrived. Those present say she smirked at her handiwork as the bride's best friend and bridesmaid hustled the soiled bride away. The wedding went forward anyway, with the bridesmaid offering her own gown as a replacement for the ruined one. Martin pleaded guilty to a charge of assault in November 1997. She received a three-month suspended sentence and had to put up a $2000, two-year good-behavior bond. She also had to pay compensation for the ruined dress and shoes. Barbara shit happens Mikkelson
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