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Origins: Some stories just can't be improved upon: Police and paramedics made an early morning call to a motel to free a man whose penis was caught in a swimming pool suction fitting. A clerk at the Scottish Inn motel made a 911 call at 4:45 a.m. Friday, saying the 33-year-old man was trapped in the swimming pool. The pool's pump was shut off before paramedics arrived, but the man still could not free himself because his penis had become swollen. Paramedics inserted a lubricant around the suction fitting, and authorities freed the man after about 40 minutes. The man, who had rented a room at the motel, told police he had gone swimming about 12:30 a.m. He was treated at Lakeland Regional Medical Center.The responding police officer's report stated the following: As I approached the man, I could see his pants were down to his knees and his penis was stuck in a suction hole located on the north side of the swimming pool. The police officers shut off the pool's pump but that didn't do the trick. Robert Cheuvront's penis remained stuck. Unfortunately for him, it had become swollen by the battering it had received before the pump was turned off. Efforts by the police to free him failed, so the paramedics were summoned. Lubricant was applied around the pipe fitting in the hope that the poor man would become unstuck. Eventually, after the paramedics spent nearly an hour alternating between delicate maneuvering and strenuous pulling efforts, Cheuvront popped out of the suction pipe. The paramedics took him to a nearby hospital, and a spokesman there later announced that Cheuvront had been released after being treated for bruised genitalia. Barbara and an acute sense of embarrassment Mikkelson
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